The various other night my girlfriend Sophie quit me together I was watching the above video on my phone. Our friend Dana had actually just said, “AM i WRONG?” in the very same cadence as the male in this video, and also I was conquer with the advice to clock the video again.

You are watching: She wore a crown and came down in a bubble

“You know just how I know you have the hyperactive type of ADHD?” Sophie asked. (She likewise has ADHD, and we talk around it often.) I said “Of course i don’t, Sophie.” She responded: “Because you’ve currently watched that video clip three times in a row.”

I’ll admit, yes sir a MalonEmail essay in my future around how being diagnosed v ADHD in my so late 20s was the complement in the flour barrel that set off a chain explosion of existential crises, forcing me to reframe and reconsider almost everything I ever before thought i knew about myself and also the life I’d built about that. However such an emotional vivisection is for another day. Instead, stop channel every my power of denial into overthinking what is—in my mind, but also objectively, execute not question my authority, ns am one EXPERT—nothing much less than an web Masterpiece.

Why “The evil Witch the the East, Bro!” is the platonic best of a meme, damaged down into a 10-step play-by-play

“HOLD ON. Organize ON. Hold ON. You’re—HOLD ON.” We begin our tour v the sort of steamroll-yelling that sends my stress hormones through the roof, while additionally inspiring awe at exactly how much screaming cis white dudes routinely gain away with, also toward other cis white dudes. (Men are clearly too emotionally to organize positions of power!) This opened is irritating, you might be thinking, and I now resent the human who sent out me a bros-doing-dumb-shit famous clip, couchsurfingcook.com. Fear not, my curious comrades, because that there is more.

“HER SISTER. Was A WITCH. RIGHT?” Wait—

“THE wicked WITCH the THE EAST, bro!” Oh. OH. Okay, so currently it’s starting to make sense. Right? sort of? in ~ the very least, we understand this is an argument about The sorcerer’s of Oz. What discussion he’s do the efforts to do is quiet unclear: is…the angry Witch of the Eastthe princess…? that hurt this man? (Related: what is it favor to it is in a man, so deeply confident in your trivia knowledge and expertise the you jump straight to screamsplaining, rather of second-guessing you yourself to the brink that madness in ~ the only inkling the a ide that friend could be incorrect, possibly? Amirite, ladies??)Allow me, in ~ this allude in the tour, to likewise encourage you all to appreciate the human body language: unhinged head-bob punctuating each word, plus every little thing these focus prayer hands space doing. 13 seconds in and also now we’re acquiring into undiluted, Vine-grade internet fire.

“You’re gonna sit there and also you’re gonna tell me the I’m wrong? AM ns WRONG?”Is it possible our star mansplainer has been come anger management? Sure! in ~ one suggest he voluntarily removes himself native the confrontation, stomping into the other room come sulk about *checks notes* gift told he is wrong around the angry Witch of the East? However, if that did, he plainly did not finish the program, due to the fact that at this allude he comes back around, hands organized out like a very, very out-of-character shruggy guy: ns DEFY girlfriend TO find A defect IN mine UNIMPEACHABLE LOGIC that THE WITCH that WAS eliminated BY THE residence PROVES that THE good WITCH (?) was IN reality A PRINCESS, in spite of THE truth THAT THE ALLEGED PRINCESS IN question ISN’T even RELATED TO one of two people OF THE WITCH sister WE’D HYPOTHETICALLY BE using IN THIS ARGUMENT.

“SHE WORE A CROWN and also CAME under IN A BUBBLE, DAWG.” i’m pretty certain I check out somewhere the this dispute started after they shed a ring of that common mobile application game Head’s Up, due to the fact that the Knife male failed to connect that Mansplainer’s “princess” ideas were actually an alleged to have been pointing in the direction of the answer “Glinda the great Witch of the North.” however the truth that both of this are used as disagreements for why Glinda the an excellent Witch that the phibìc is, in fact, a princess—that she wore a crown (actually a great argument) and came down in a bubble (???)—defies reason. Nevertheless, have actually you ever heard such divine madness? I’ve to be converted. Glinda is a princess. Princesses travel in bubbles. The canon now, dawg.

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“Grow up! prosper up, bro.”Have friend ascended come the following plane? I certainly have. Simply an impeccable end to what might be the platonic best of the kind of unhinged, overzealous mansplaining logic that has involved define not only the internet yet now the meatspace universe, too. At this point, through so many possible armageddons (armageddi?) wait on the horizon, each waiting to take it their rotate at the total annihilation the humanity, did you do it gotta wonder even if it is the only reason so-called human being is tho hanging top top in 2020 is a an outcome of the thin momentum produced by the for sure unstoppable conviction of people (jk, cishet men, lmao) who routinely remain so completely wrong and also still, somehow, win the argument?? If only we might harness it; “her sister a witch” can surely role as an alternative energy to replace coal. At least!

The girl filming simply living for thisAs we round the bending to with the finish of this tour, you may notice: this girl, this intrepid documentary filmmaker, has been with us the totality time. She is us, really.