In this week's New York Magazine, Lindsay Lohan attempts to channel Marilyn Monroe through nudity, a blonde wig, and buckets and buckets of emptiness. If you've ever wondered "Hey, what would this haunting photograph look like if stripped of all its energy, soul, and weight?" Now you have your answer: it looks hollow, and more than a little sad.

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It's obvious why someone in Lohan's position would re-create an iconic series of photos of a famous actress teetering on the brink of death: She likes Marilyn..and she needs the work and the tabloid-free exposure.

Though Lohan's willingness to reprise the photos might seem a sly nod to her scandalous past, the actress offered a straightforward explanation. "I didn't have to put much thought into it. I mean, Bert Stern? Doing a Marilyn shoot? When is that ever going to come up? It's really an honor."

Lohan viewed the shoot as a theatrical performance, as a chance to inhabit the role of an idol. "I wanted to portray the book and get it point-on as much as I could, to bring it back to life," she said.

Still, Lohan should watch out. She may not see the photos as a dark foreshadowing of her own tragic, early demise, but, uh, New York Magazine certainly does. In fact, I'm pretty sure that, now that they have her "last" photos, they want her dead:

Lohan called Monroe's suicide "tragic," and then added, elliptically, "You know, it's also tragic what just recently happened to someone else." I asked whether she was referring to Heath Ledger. She nodded: "They are both prime examples of what this industry can do to someone." Why some and not others, I asked, since it has often seemed that the thrice-rehabbed Lohan might meet a similar fate. Lohan replied with a flicker of annoyance: "I don't know. I'm not them. But I sure as hell wouldn't let it happen to me."

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Ok, New York Magazine. Why not just come right out and ask her, "Lindsay, why aren't you dead yet?" Or, "How come you're still alive?" Or, "Would you do us a massive favor, and die tragically pretty soon?" It would be more honest. I wouldn't be surprised if they asked her to re-create a new famous Hollywood death scene every week just so they could be in posession of her "haunting last photos." Maybe next week she can be teetering on the edge of a boat in open water while dressed like Natalie Wood.