I am no a brave man. Horror movies leaving me quaking in fear. The witching hour filling me with profound dread. And also every night I urge on resting with the lamp on, swaddled in blankets and also propped up in an armchair encountering my former door. And also though I might slumber, mine finger rests on the cause of a invited rifle, all set to safeguard myself from fearsome beasts and sinister intruders till rosy-fingered dawn involves my rescue every morning.

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So once I fire increase Dark Souls 3 for the an initial time, I’m instantly intimidated. The opening area, the Cemetery of Ash, is home to withered creatures clad in moth-worn robes, and also while they look much more like puzzled geriatrics 보다 fearsome fighters, I’m no taking any kind of chances. My character (a warrior by the name of Binbags) beginning the scene, swinging his mighty axe to dropped codger ~ codger.



I’ve heard the Dark Souls 3 opens up with a surprisingly daunting boss battle, and also that’s whereby I’m headed. Hand trembling, I approach Iudex Gundyr, stop for a minute to titter at his stunner name, and then pull the Coiled sword from his chest to begin the fight. Ninety secs later, I’ve dispatched the weedy Gundyr ~ above my very first attempt.


That was every a bit anticlimactic really, so ns decide come amp increase the challenge. This time, at the character creation screen, I choose the ‘deprived’ class, and gaze despairingly in ~ the wimpy kind of Binbags 2. My proud warrior has actually been changed with one emaciated weirdo wielding a primitive shield and wooden cudgel. Instead of sturdy armour, he is clad in a grimy loincloth.




And together if to include insult come injury, the deprived course starts the video game at level 1 – because that the sake of comparison, my warrior to be a mighty level 7. The differences immediately become clear once I move to connect my first robe-geezer. Whereas my beefy warrior can carve up these hoary creeps through flowing combo strikes with his , Binbags 2 just artlessly wails top top the blighters, leaving me painfully open up to adversary counterattacks between each and also every swing.


I advancement carefully, making certain to stop for a rest at every bonfire in between here and Gundyr to refill my stock of restorative Estus flasks. Then, ns take a deep breath and head right into the titan’s foul lair. The bout that adheres to would probably be ideal described together panicked. Binbags 2 rolls nimbly in between Gundyr’s halberd strikes, harrying the beast only once the chance arises. As soon as the dust settles, Binbags 2 stands end his vanquished foe. I am once again victorious.


Clearly, the difficulty here is that I’m too great at Dark Souls, for this reason I quickly head back to the title screen, create an additional Deprived character, and also step earlier into the fray together Binbags 3.0. This time, i decide that i won’t usage a single bonfire. Instead, I’ll clear the opening area, then head straight for the huge bad and also take under Gundyr with just a stock of three measly Estus come fall back on when I take damage.

Clearly, the problem here is the I’m too good at Dark Souls

By now, I know the Cemetery that Ash favor the earlier of mine grubby, deprived hand, however I’m tho a little of a concerned Nellie. After ~ all, a solitary lapse in concentration could have severe after-effects here. Predictably enough, disaster shortly strikes – a crazed octogenarian it s okay the much better of me, landing a flurry the strikes before I deserve to regain my composure and cut him down. Ns nervously eye my diminished health bar, and also agonise over whether to chug at an Estus or risk a one-hit kill from Gundyr. I decide to take a chance, and stride towards battle with all the trust of one 11-year-old at a task interview.



The ensuing fight is a painfully it is too dirty roll-fest, however Binbags 3.0 proves worthy of the challenge, arising victorious after 3 minutes the jittery juking. Truly, this is a new golden e for me; an er of staggering competence. Who knew that could happen?

This article originally showed up in Xbox: The official Magazine. For more good Xbox coverage, you can subscribe here.

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James"s passions include chunky knitwear, pungent cheeses, and rewatching Columbo. Occasionally, he plays some videogames, too. And in case you"re wondering, it rhymes through couch.